I always thought Jesus was the King of my heart until I realized that all my decisions were based on fear and not on His Word.
If you're like me, you like to play it safe. You like to stay where it's comfortable. You don't mind routine and hate when things are thrown at you from the wind. While all along you say that you want God to change you, to make you and to mold you. But at the same time, you pray that God would take that one burdensome thing in your life and get rid of it.
That was me, anyways.
I read my Bible, I praise the Lord in worship, I pray daily, and I try, most of the time, to live a life that pleases Him. More than that, I pray every day that He will do what He wants with me so that I become more like the person He intends for me to be, and less like who I used to be.
But then I started having anxiety. Like, bad. I-can't-do-anything, everything-makes-me-scared, fear-is-the-first-thing-I-think-of, kind of anxiety.
I knew this was no way to live my life, but at the same time I felt like I had no choice. I started having anxiety at home, at work, on the road, all the time. It was crippling. So I would try to do things that wouldn't give me anxiety. If it did, that meant I shouldn't do it. But then I became stubborn and realized that I shouldn't live like that, so at times I would look fear in the face and do whatever it was that would cause me anxiety.
But then I realized that I shouldn't really be having anxiety at all, and if I did, it shouldn't control the way I think and the decisions I make.
So I prayed and prayed, and I pray every day that God would take my anxiety, fears, and worries away. And then I continued to pray that He would make me into His image.
And then one day it dawned on me that maybe He was using this season of anxiety to do exactly just that. He didn’t cause it, but He used it.
It made sense. During times of anxiety I would pray more, and I discovered how very powerful prayer is. I also focused more on God than other things, because He was my help and my stronghold in times of anxiety. Without this season, maybe I wouldn't have done these things.
Once I learned that, I continued to ask God to take it away, because it was to the point—like I had mentioned—where I couldn't do anything. And I'm pretty sure that God didn't want me to be like that.
And then it further dawned on me in prayer one day that Jesus wasn't really the King of my heart—my anxiety was.
Just about everything I did went through a filter of fear first. My first response to something was how it would flare up my anxiety. I haven't done a lot of things because of this, and I wonder how much of the life God had for me I've missed out on because I was scared. My life was based on fear instead of the word of God. Something had to change.
Making Jesus the King of your heart is harder than it sounds. It means that all of your decisions, your direction, your everyday habits, all are due to putting Jesus at His rightful place at the center of your heart. It means studying the Bible and being in communication with Him throughout your day. It means taking it to get His approval first, rather than just your own. But believe me, every ounce of it is worth it.
We aren't meant to live apart of God. We weren't created like that. We are here for Him, to serve Him, to further His Kingdom—all things I can't do apart from Him living as a servant to fear (Ecclesiastes 3:11,12:13, Ephesians 2:10, Colossians 1:16).
And it's not just fear that could be ruling your life. It could be depression, stubbornness, disobedience, jealously, anger, unforgiveness. Anything that you harbor in your life first before God is really the King of your heart. It's idolatry. I never realized it until I sat down with God and talked about it with Him, but that's exactly what my anxiety was. It took God's place in my life, and I'm sick of it.
Until you realize this, you'll never be able to get over whatever is in your heart. It's only with God's help can we surrender these things and start anew. He is in that business, anyways.
Thanks as always for reading. If you have any questions, comments, prayer requests ect., feel free to leave a comment below, or find me on twitter: @stephaniejtay, or via the "Contact Me" page on this website. Thanks again, and God bless, and to God be the glory.
Before you go! Please take the survey to the right and sign up for my mailing list. If you do, you'll get updates when new blogs are posted, all the happens with my upcoming book "Annie and Ben", and when new content is added! Thanks!
If you're like me, you like to play it safe. You like to stay where it's comfortable. You don't mind routine and hate when things are thrown at you from the wind. While all along you say that you want God to change you, to make you and to mold you. But at the same time, you pray that God would take that one burdensome thing in your life and get rid of it.
That was me, anyways.
I read my Bible, I praise the Lord in worship, I pray daily, and I try, most of the time, to live a life that pleases Him. More than that, I pray every day that He will do what He wants with me so that I become more like the person He intends for me to be, and less like who I used to be.
But then I started having anxiety. Like, bad. I-can't-do-anything, everything-makes-me-scared, fear-is-the-first-thing-I-think-of, kind of anxiety.
I knew this was no way to live my life, but at the same time I felt like I had no choice. I started having anxiety at home, at work, on the road, all the time. It was crippling. So I would try to do things that wouldn't give me anxiety. If it did, that meant I shouldn't do it. But then I became stubborn and realized that I shouldn't live like that, so at times I would look fear in the face and do whatever it was that would cause me anxiety.
But then I realized that I shouldn't really be having anxiety at all, and if I did, it shouldn't control the way I think and the decisions I make.
So I prayed and prayed, and I pray every day that God would take my anxiety, fears, and worries away. And then I continued to pray that He would make me into His image.
And then one day it dawned on me that maybe He was using this season of anxiety to do exactly just that. He didn’t cause it, but He used it.
It made sense. During times of anxiety I would pray more, and I discovered how very powerful prayer is. I also focused more on God than other things, because He was my help and my stronghold in times of anxiety. Without this season, maybe I wouldn't have done these things.
Once I learned that, I continued to ask God to take it away, because it was to the point—like I had mentioned—where I couldn't do anything. And I'm pretty sure that God didn't want me to be like that.
And then it further dawned on me in prayer one day that Jesus wasn't really the King of my heart—my anxiety was.
Just about everything I did went through a filter of fear first. My first response to something was how it would flare up my anxiety. I haven't done a lot of things because of this, and I wonder how much of the life God had for me I've missed out on because I was scared. My life was based on fear instead of the word of God. Something had to change.
Making Jesus the King of your heart is harder than it sounds. It means that all of your decisions, your direction, your everyday habits, all are due to putting Jesus at His rightful place at the center of your heart. It means studying the Bible and being in communication with Him throughout your day. It means taking it to get His approval first, rather than just your own. But believe me, every ounce of it is worth it.
We aren't meant to live apart of God. We weren't created like that. We are here for Him, to serve Him, to further His Kingdom—all things I can't do apart from Him living as a servant to fear (Ecclesiastes 3:11,12:13, Ephesians 2:10, Colossians 1:16).
And it's not just fear that could be ruling your life. It could be depression, stubbornness, disobedience, jealously, anger, unforgiveness. Anything that you harbor in your life first before God is really the King of your heart. It's idolatry. I never realized it until I sat down with God and talked about it with Him, but that's exactly what my anxiety was. It took God's place in my life, and I'm sick of it.
Until you realize this, you'll never be able to get over whatever is in your heart. It's only with God's help can we surrender these things and start anew. He is in that business, anyways.
Thanks as always for reading. If you have any questions, comments, prayer requests ect., feel free to leave a comment below, or find me on twitter: @stephaniejtay, or via the "Contact Me" page on this website. Thanks again, and God bless, and to God be the glory.
Before you go! Please take the survey to the right and sign up for my mailing list. If you do, you'll get updates when new blogs are posted, all the happens with my upcoming book "Annie and Ben", and when new content is added! Thanks!